Job applicants are expected to follow certain conventions when writing a resume or cover letter. I think expecting HR and management to follow similar rules isn't out of the question. If you want to be taken seriously, be professional and follow these simple rules:

-Don't waste applicants' time. This is the cardinal rule. Filling out a job application takes a lot more time than it should, and yours isn't the only company I'm applying for. I know you want to sort by experience and have things in a neat nice database, and I know you've got a computer to sort through the garbage, but I've already written a resume with the information on it. Respect my time by requesting a resume file first and then using it to pre-fill those forms as much as possible. (I've seen exactly one application site that did this, and it shows the company pays attention to its hiring process.) Don't ask for information that isn't computer sortable, because it's all in the resume already. If your application process respects my time, I'll take your job offer much more seriously.

-Write a descriptive job description. I've slogged through job descriptions that left me scratching my head afterward. "Assists senior project leads in achieving project goals." Yes, but what is it that you actually DO? Most managers are good at mentioning the skills they want their applicants to have, and I may have a clear idea of the type of things your company does, but if you don't describe specific duties and projects it's hard to get excited about the position. Give specific examples if you can. Linking to the project page or Wikipedia is even better. Finally, don't use terms that don't apply. For example, using the title "Sales Engineer" to refer to a sales position is despicable. It clutters up every engineering listing, and just pisses off all of us who have real engineering degrees. You wouldn't stick the word "Marketing" in an engineering position.

-Money talks. If you think your offer is truly reasonable, provide a salary range. Give me numbers, not the words "competitive salary". Feel free to mention your fantastic benefits package somewhere, but if I'm going to spend time filling out your web form and flying out to your interview I need to know about how much you're going to pay. Not disclosing this information implies that you know your competitors will pay more and your company is trying to rip me off.

-Sort your positions by experience. It's extremely tough to find job offers for engineers with less than a year of experience, and senior staff don't want to waste their time looking at junior positions. Why is it that I haven't found a single site that lets me enter "Computer engineer" and sort by expected years of experience? I'd even settle for one that lets me post a resume, enter in the years of experience I have, and actually provides me with jobs that I'm qualified for, automatically excluding the ones I can't take (no Master's or PhD, for example). "We have job openings in every state" sounds great until you realize that the openings in your state are all for Senior Aviation Defrosting Technicians. "There are entry-level marketing positions available in California, New Mexico, Ohio, and Florida" is useful information. Your potential applicant might say, Hey, I never thought about it but Albuquerque sounds nice. I'll apply for that job.

-Make sure your site works. General Dynamics has a professional-looking website, but clicking a referral link to a specific job doesn't work. Searching by the reference number kicks back an error page saying I don't have cookies enabled (I do). I had to open it up in Internet Explorer for the search to work properly, and then it required me to log in before even seeing the job description. Intel's site won't let you open up and compare several job offers in tabs, complaining that you need to close other windows from their site first. An unprofessional job site design reflects poorly on your company. Qualified job hunters will go elsewhere.

-Don't list entry-level positions under "recent college grads". Some people switch careers, some shift from one sub-specialty to another, and some have taken a break for one reason or another. Quite a few of these people are still highly qualified. Some might even be better at broad-discipline skills such as teamwork and presentations than those right out of university. These people aren't college grads, nor are they "experienced professionals". Rename your "college grads" link to "entry level positions", and watch the unique resumes roll in.

This curious kitten kept a close eye on me as I tried to get a good photo

I was able to sneak around the wall downwind without attracting attention...

...but as soon as the first shutter went off this adult stared right at me.

My old 1990 4Runner was dying of neglect in the desert, and after three hard years of being eaten by rodents and beaten up by invisible assailants it was time for something new. Something smaller and more nimble, with enough space to be practical for buying groceries and carrying nephews and a niece around, but powerful. Emphasis on the powerful. Subtle enough to escape the Watchful Eyes but fast enough to strike fear into the hearts of those who lurk in the fast lane, applying makeup at five under. A ninja on roller skates. With a jetpack.

Three years of saving had given me enough to buy the car in cash, if needed, but I took out a loan as a sort of stalling tactic; with no other income I can still pay off my loan but I'll still have money for survival. Saturday I went with my father to test drive some potentials. Under Mitsu's direction we first visited the Mazda dealership, to scope out a Mazdaspeed 3 in Grand Touring trim. I had first thought the Mazda 3 was just a normal car, like a Corolla, but in secret the engineers had added a turbocharger and sport chassis components while keeping the whole thing looking mostly stock, and injected the word "speed" into the name. And here I thought methamphetamine was illegal.

The other test drive that day was the Volkswagen GTI. While it didn't have as much raw power as the Mazda, its silky smooth gearbox and wide torque band were an advantage. And that same lower power made the car easier to control during the test drive. But the air conditioning seemed anemic even at full blast, as if the vents couldn't direct sufficient air in my direction. And while many reviews claimed the GTI's interior was of higher quality, I couldn't really see much difference. In all honesty the dash cluster looked more accessible on the Mazda-- who the hell marks their tachometer in hundreds, like 10, 20, 30? And most of the time I'm looking at the plastics, not stroking them like a 14 year old boy who's just discovered what women hide underneath their blouses. Everything else aside, the prices for the two models I looked at were roughly equivalent, but the GTI was lacking in features, and its ratings for reliability weren't that high.

We went for burgers and a chat, and my father rightly pointed out that the Mazda seemed to offer more for the money. We drove around to a couple lots, and even took a look at a used M3 on sale for $20k (the gangster tinting on all the windows couldn't have been legal), but a new car just seemed like a better investment since I'd be doing all the driving and maintenance. We looked up prices online and drafted up a plan of attack for negotiations.

Today I went in to the dealership, and haggled for about an hour over extras, fees, and the trade-in value of my old car. The "dealer extras" on the car totaled almost 2000 dollars, and I spent most of my time trying to back them down from those, even with invoice price in hand. Negotiations weren't going as smoothly as I'd hoped, and I played the tag team card: "I'll have to talk to my dad." I went home and started taking care of some paperwork. They were a bit more desperate to close the deal when my father arrived, as they wanted to sell their quota before the end of the month. He was able to negotiate further toward what he and I were expecting, and he phoned me up to say the deal was still on. One of the other guys handled the paperwork but his attempts to sell me a car alarm were no match for my prior knowledge about how easily factory systems are defeated. (Hint: don't try to convince a guy with a computer engineering degree that your factory system is infallible. We know about back doors.) The dealer whom I'd sparred with was a great sport after all the wheeling and dealing, and he took the time to show me all the ins and outs of the interior controls before I drove it off the lot.

The car I bought seems to exceed my qualifications, despite my initial apprehension at buying a FWD car. In terms of subtlety, the Mazdaspeed is the proverbial shotgun in the box of roses. The phrase "hot hatch" is unknown in these parts, and the car certainly doesn't look fast until it's rocketing past you. They say it puts out 263 horsepower and 280 ft-lb of torque (that's 380 N m for the rest of the world), through the front two wheels. Under heavy acceleration the car seems to want to torque steer itself into the next lane when you hit the gas hard, like a team of mismatched horses. Except in this case it's more like a team of rabid cheetahs, on fire. Traction control kicks in if things get out of hand, but this car seems to follow the axiom, "Control your left foot." On dry pavement on the way home, I gave it a little test from a stoplight. I didn't hammer the launch, but the tires squeaked in second gear, and the traction control computer freaked out for much of 3rd while the front wheels found the ground again. I looked down and I was going 60, and there were still three gears left to go. I'm used to having to flog my vehicles, and it's a real treat to have more power than I can use. Moth, meet flame. How those crazy bastards were able to keep it all at the rubber, I'm not really sure. It's certainly a feat of engineering.

As for nimble, I haven't gotten the chance to try that out yet, but my initial impressions are positive. I think a trip up to the mountains next week might be in order.

I love the nice little things that came with the new car as well, such as perforated leather seats (so your back can breathe) and the modern conveniences like automatic headlights and rain-sensing wipers. You can even toggle the dash lights between red-dominant and more of a blue theme, to suit your mood, or shut off the lights on the radio panel if you want your field of view free from distractions at night. I appreciate the thought and design that went into it. Really the only thing that's missing is a boost gauge, and I'm sure someone will make an A-pillar mod with one soon.

A few memorable notes from my trip back from Seoul through Japan and Los Angeles and finally back home...

A situation of much gravity
After parting with my Seoul traveling companion, I went around to collect the luggage I'd stored and the one piece I'd shipped, and went to check in. Since the layover was so long, I had an hour and a half before check-in was even supposed to start, so I found a seat next to one of the entrances and pulled out my DS. Soon, a crowd of people with press badges and cameras started crowding around the doors. Soon a minivan pulled up and a big guy in traditional Japanese wear got out. After much shuffling and popping of flashbulbs, four sumo wrestlers walked into Narita Airport. I didn't find out who it was until I was standing directly behind him in the customs line. In an amusing twist, one of the workers there, a petite young woman, tried to get his attention to ask if he wanted to bypass the lines. But another line immediately opened up, and he went to the front. Hey, I wasn't gonna argue with the guy.

The next person who brings a baby on a trans-Pacific flight gets keelhauled
The flight back on Singapore Airlines was fantastic, even better than the Japanese airlines if possible. My scale goes something like this:

American carriers : meat cargo :: Japanese carriers : human beings :: Singapore Airlines : royal family

Of course you get alcoholic beverages without being nickle-and-dimed to death (oh I do hope you have exact change on United) but the staff was also dressed to the nines in suits and dresses. Movies included the standard almost-new fare with shitty headphones, but they also had quite a few older but good movies, and more quantity than most airlines-- I stopped counting at 25 and there were still some left. A few things are unavoidable on a Boeing aircraft, such as the movie controls being easily bumped (hope you like fast-forwarding) and screaming-baby syndrome, but for the most part the flight was more pleasant than I remember.

Under renovation my ass
Los Angeles was another story. Despite being "under renovation" for the past 5 years, the whole place still looks and smells like an industrial art fair reject. Picking up a customs form required marching to a single table tucked away into the far end of the immigrations area. Half the area around the luggage carousel was blocked off and used for the customs lines, and the three or four flights of people that arrived with us had to filter through a grand total of two customs agents. LAX still has no signs or maps to tell you where the terminals are-- their idea of a substitute is allowing people to basically panhandle outside the arrival gates in exchange for information. If there was a free shuttle I didn't see it. The oft-used international terminal is still about a mile walk from the most popular local terminal, Southwest. (I remember passing Lufthansa and Air Cathay and quite a few airlines I'd never heard of.) And of course there are still the ridiculous hoops of dragging your luggage to the Southwest check-in counter, weighing it, and hauling it back to a separate security point. Apparently LAX staff haven't discovered the technological marvel of "conveyor belts". Insufficient seating in the gate area and a lack of power outlets made a long wait even worse, and as hot as it was I'm certain the A/C wasn't functioning. These posters were plastered around the area. Lax expectations, indeed. They'd do the city a service to demolish the whole place and start over.

Things learned:

• A Honda minivan can comfortably seat four sumo, and can even move while doing so.
• The reputation of Singapore Airlines is rightly earned.
• Avoid LAX like the plague.

We went next to Changdeokgung, a World Heritage site that used to be the king's personal retreat. The site is only accessible on official tours led three times a day, and the tour guide was impossible to hear or understand. On top of that, it's impossible to take decent pictures with fifty other idiots wandering into your shot with bright umbrellas. So Ashley and I lagged behind, and then got conveniently "lost" before wandering around and eventually stumbling into a Korean language tour. It was quite fortunate that we got left behind, because otherwise we would never have seen the hidden garden. Yes, the tour guide had skipped the best part of the whole place entirely.

I started with the stock 18-55mm zoom, and swapped out to the 85mm lens about halfway through. Wow. It was simply astounding how much light I was able to get into the camera. Even in cloudy weather, I was able to shoot at lower ISO modes. I took some portraits of my traveling companion before swapping back to the zoom for the landscapes.

I'll post some photos when I get back.

P.S. Ashley and I, after finishing our palace tour, crossed the street toward a convenience store. A little girl walking with her mother, maybe 5 years old, looked right at me with a huge smile and said, "Hello! Welcome to Korea!" I was so stunned by this spontaneous use of English that I could only gasp out a "hello" in return.

There was apparently a big earthquake in northern Iwate prefecture that closed the Tohoku Shinkansen (bullet train) on the morning I would have flown out. This happened to be the same day my visa expired. I wouldn't have made it to the airport on time if I hadn't had the amazing psychic foresight to spend the night before in Tokyo.

So I'm here. Had a little trouble finding the youth hostel (the same one I'd stayed at 3 years ago) but an elderly gentleman helped us out.

Today I have no idea what we're gonna do. Maybe just bum around, eat, and drink. We shall see.

On top of that, I'm trying to do the following, all at once:

• Buy parts for a new computer, through a credit card company and retailer in another country
• Cancel my phone, internet (both ISP and physical line), gas, electricity, water, and bank account
• Send all that money home
• Pack 2 boxes for sending clothes and stuff home
• Send said boxes
• Figure out how to stuff everything else into my 2 suitcases
• Clean the entire apartment tip to tail
• Sneeze madly while doing the above, from the toxic amounts of dislodged dust
• Get rid of all the excess junk I've accumulated over the years, along with several pieces of junk which were here when I arrived
• Make arrangements to ship one of the boxes to be picked up after I come back from Korea, but before I have to board my flight home
• Sell my car
• Not forget important things like my camera, laptop, passport, or towel

In that case, I wonder what Unreal Technology brings you...

Just take a look for yourself.

And here's the newer one.

Really pretty inspirational if you think about it.